Real Women of Rochester | Kristen Fragnoli

Kristen Fragnoli | Age: 52 | Profession: Leadership Coach / Speaker

Tell us about your journey through womanhood.

I have mostly been confident and self directed throughout my adulthood, however in many ways I feel that since turning 50 and making some big changes in life, I am finally fully inhabiting my womanhood. I realize how much more in tune with myself I feel - more fully in charge of who I want to be and what I want to do.  In many ways I am just now taking time to reflect on what my journey has been and even making discoveries about what it means for me. The great thing is I have decades ahead of me for this "new life!"

What would you say to another woman who may be going through something you've been through?

Know that you have to ride the lows along with the highs. Breathe and try to figure out how to embrace, or at least be patient, with yourself during the challenges. Get connected with yourself. You can't deny and numb out the tough stuff without also numbing the joy and fun, so ride the roller coaster with your eyes and heart open.

What surprised you most about your photography experience?

How immediately fun it was! It felt like a chance to play and I loved that throughout the shoot we talked about our work and our visions - we just launched right into this intimate exchange of friendship. It was a very cool experience and the photos that resulted are beautiful because of it.

How do you feel when you look at your favorite photo of yourself from your shoot?

I like what I see. It makes me comfortable with myself. I feel vibrant - like someone fun and interesting to hang out with. Someone with adventure ahead of her.

What would you share with a woman who doesn't think she is beautiful enough to be photographed?

First, you ARE beautiful enough - Full stop.

But I understand that for many women the world has told you a shitty lie that only some looks qualify as beautiful, so be tender to yourself because that hurt is real. But photos are a way to be VISIBLE in the world as who YOU are. Whatever is holding you back is not stronger than you are. Your beauty is for you.

What message would you like to share with other women?

You have more power than you think (even if you already feel powerful - you've got more!). Your "crazy ideas" are worth following and acting upon. You don't have to have all your shit together to make your life amazing.  Open your heart to other people in your life - about the real stuff - it will make all the difference in the world.

What are your thoughts on beauty?

Beauty, to me, is when our emotions are sparked and we feel some sort of deeper connection. Beauty can be found everywhere - in art, in a person who makes you light up, even a dark ominous sky. But it is when there is that connection and resonance in your soul.

What would you say to your sixteen year old self?

Stay bold, adventurous and independent but learn to invest in building relationships. Learn about yourself so that you can show up authentically with others. Pay attention to how amazing life is, because it is amazing every day.

What empowering message would you like to share with young women today?

Learn about the world; reach out to people and places that are different from you in a spirit of learning and curiosity. Do the same learning inside yourself.  Don't underestimate yourself and the impact you can have on the world. Don't settle for what's easy if it's not what you want. Don't take any shit, but give support wherever you can. You are not "too young" to have important ideas and do big things.

What's the biggest hurdle you've overcome career-wise as a woman?

Being under estimated and under appreciated and understanding that getting resentful or bitter doesn't help. I just had to go ahead and act and prove people wrong. I have had to set boundaries and get out of places or relationships that were toxic or that weren't bringing out the best in me.

What's the most empowering experience you've had as a woman?

Being surrounded by amazing women who love and support me. My mother, two sisters and my daughter are my best friends. In recent years I have been consciously working on cultivating new female friendships that are not superficial - connecting with like-minded, intelligent, real women.

When do you feel the most beautiful?

When I am fit and healthy because I have been taking care of myself. And then at random times when I'm wearing something that just really feels "like me" - usually something weird like funky cowboy boots or something.

If you’d like to connect with Kristen or learn more about her coaching services, you can find her at www.Questpotentialcoaching.com, on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.